Five Things

By June 13, 2013 4 Comments

This week’s post will drop a bit earlier because by the time you read this I’ll either be on a beach in Mexico or en route. We’re taking a family trip and celebrating our five-year Wedding Anniversary. I thought I’d take a break from sports this week and discuss five things I’ve learned during my five years of marriage.

1. The first thing I’ve learned is what true support is and how necessary it is. To me support is not only being there for the other person, but it is also accepting everything that comes with them. My wife accepts me for who I am and all of the good and bad that comes with me. She is also incredibly supportive of me, my ideas, and my career choices. There is a special place in heaven for the wives of coaches. Our jobs demand a lot of time and sacrifice. I do my best to leave work at work but that’s not always possible. I try to be the best husband and father I can be, and that wouldn’t be possible without her support. I’ve also learned that I need to be a stronger and more consistent rock of support for her. Every good and lasting marriage must be built upon support of one another.

2. Secondly, I’ve learned how important it is to have your best friend by your side. My wife is my best friend and has been since I awkwardly asked her out now almost over 11 years ago. It has been a blessing to have each other as we have journeyed through different and some of the most important phases of our lives in the past 11 years. To be able to experience all of the highs, lows, and laughter with someone who is by your side through thick and thin is amazing. It’s not always smooth sailings, puppy dogs and rainbows, but I know no matter what we’ll always have each other. And that is worth more than anything.

3. The third thing I’ve learned in marriage is what patience is all about. Both my wife and I have been known to lose our patience at times. Now being parents, we’re learning what true patience is all about. In order to have a marriage that works, the couple must be patient with each other. My lack of patience at times has led to frivolous arguments. Over time these can build up and cause resentment. So I’ve learned to be more patient because nine times out of ten, whatever it is you’re upset about, it won’t matter in ten minutes. Patience is a cornerstone of a successful marriage.

2. One of the most important things we’ve learned during our five years of marriage is what parenthood is all about. At times it has been the most difficult thing we’ve ever done, but it is by far the most amazing experience. My wife and I are blessed with a beautiful, smart, funny, and sweet two-year-old boy. His birth was the best thing that ever happened to me. It truly is amazing to be a part of his life and be there every step along the way. You don’t truly know what parent’s do or go through until you become a parent yourself. My wife and I are blessed to have great parents ourselves that have been role models in how we should raise our own children. There are many ups and downs in parenthood, but once again you need someone there by your side. I have so much respect for single parents because I honestly don’t know how they do it all the time. I have been able to learn from my wife because she is the most amazing mother to our son. He is so fortunate to have her as his mother. I am sure my wife would agree with me on this, but parenthood has truly made our relationship feel complete. Going through this journey with your best friend is priceless.

1. Lastly and probably most importantly, I’ve learned what true love is all about. The strains of work, family, and money will put a relationship to the test. But I’ve learned to go back to the reasons why I chose to get married to begin with. My love and appreciation (although I don’t always properly express it) for my wife has grown stronger over the years. In marriage you really get to see all of your partner’s talents and gifts that they bring to the relationship. Love is what got us to where we are and it is what will take us through anything we go through. I had a pretty turbulent time professionally the summer after my son was born and I’m not sure what would’ve happened if I didn’t have my wife’s love and support. Marriage is built upon love, and I have learned its value and will never forget it.

It’s hard to put into words what I’d like to say about my wife and our marriage, so I’m going to use a couple of lines from a poem “I Carry Your Heart” that was read at our wedding.

I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)

I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

Thanks for reading, have a great week (I know I will), and be an RGP today!



Join the discussion 4 Comments

  • April says:

    I truly respect all your comments but I must add that for a female coach I believe the male support is probably much more valuable than that of the female. My reasons for this is as many coaches know a female working in what was so long a mans profession and in some areas still the same; can be very tasking. Husbands that are the coaches spouse must put away their female in the home ideas and revamp what are truly their family priorities. The endless hours for female coaches is no different than for their male counterparts, but the home responsibilities do become that of the male at home. I have to admit when I first became a coach my (then husband) thought he could endure the endless nights without me at home. Well long story short it didn’t happen. I have since remarried after putting my husband today through 5 years of trial and error to see if he could handle the empty hours at home. He has not only endured he has become a part of my teams. He comes to the games and sometimes practices and even has developed a care for many of the players I have. He took on not only the responsibility of my own children but that of my three different sports teams as well.
    So I just wanted to add a high five for all those female coaches husbands because their worlds took a major 360 degree change for their wives to be successful in their career choices. That shows a true professional love from the coaches husband !!! May God Bless them for their “true” love to their wives (coaches)!

  • kelmendorf says:

    Excellent point, April. Thank you for sharing! It sounds like your husband is an amazing man. You’re right, no matter who the coach in the family is, it takes a strong, living, and understanding partner to stand behind and support us!

    Have a great day!

  • Dee Gerstenkorn says:

    Love your posts but this one especially. Wishing you and your wife a wonderful anniversary trip and many more years of growing strong together. So thankful that you are in my son’s circle of influence. God bless.

  • kelmendorf says:

    Thanks Dee, I appreciate it! We had a great trip. Thanks for reading the posts. Hope all is well with the Gerstenkorn’s!