It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way

By November 14, 2014 4 Comments


terms 1

Do you ever recall a parent or teacher saying, “Well if Johnny or Suzie jumped off a bridge, would you too?” I’m pretty sure it’s a safe bet that we’ve all heard this a few times in our lifetime. It’s a great line challenging children to think differently and not follow the crowd, especially if the action or people are considered deviant. Why don’t we follow this same advice as adults? This week we’ll discuss why people just follow the norm and how they can avoid this trap.

Mediocrity is the new norm throughout society and it’s rarely challenged. Why? Because it’s easier to accept it and not challenge the status quo. Too many people simply follow in other’s footsteps and just accept their life for the way it is. One of my biggest pet peeves of all time is when I hear the phrase, “It’s always been done this way.” That’s a cop-out. Quit letting other people determine the quality of your life and how you live it. Just because the people you know and grew up with are doing a certain thing, or living a certain lifestyle, does not mean you have to do the same.

I believe this happens out of fear. We’re afraid of what might happen if we try something different, go down a different path, or what others may think of us. Quit living on their terms and start living on yours. Here are five suggestions on how to avoid living on other people’s terms.

terms 2

  • Don’t get overwhelmed–Begin with a goal in mind and understand that it will take time. You will fail, but that’s okay because each failure brings you that much closer to success. The problem is that too many choose to take on too much all at once. When this happens they become overwhelmed and say, “Screw it, I give up.” Trust and realize it’s all about the process.
  • Have ambition–As I stated earlier don’t follow the crowd. Once you stop having a purpose or mission for your existence, your life’s basically over. Stay active. Learn new things. Set small achievable goals. As Einstein once said, “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
  • Look for possibilities–Too many people only see the problems, they don’t see the possibilities. Rather than seeing the obstacles ahead, look for the opportunities that exist. Don’t let other people set the expectations and limits you have for yourself. There are no limits. With each roadblock there lies an opportunity for personal growth that will lead to sustained success.
  • It’s okay to want more–We’re conditioned to feel bad for wanting more, like we’re greedy. I don’t necessarily agree with that. It’s okay to want be more than what you are now, and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Most people stop with safety and security in their careers and life. That’s fine, but don’t ever stop working to become your best self. Jobs and companies will come and go. Don’t put your life and ambition in other people’s hands.
  • Follow your heartFind meaning in what you do and who you are. Your heart will lead you down the right road. Discover what truly makes you happy and then do that every single day. If you do, you’ll become unstoppable. You will wake up every day with a mission, purpose, and passion! Don’t go for the quick fix and buck. Work for and go get something sustainable!

Don’t go through life wondering “what if”, it’s time to stop playing it safe and go after your dreams. Don’t worry about what others will think or potential problems. Believe and Achieve!

As always, thanks for reading, have a great week and be and RGP today!


Join the discussion 4 Comments

  • Bonnie says:

    Great article Kyle, one of the best you have written with meaning for most of us! Thanks.

  • kelmendorf says:

    Thank you, I appreciate it!

  • Alan says:

    i TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU KYLE…I recently asked to present a fun and effective kids soccer program(that has proven successful globally..incl Barcelona FC) to a bunch of teachers here in South Africa and most of them said they were already happy with their current programs..i asked for an opportunity to at least ask some questions as to why the kids are becoming bored with the present methods they are using..and why the sport is not growing…how many of the kids miss out on enjoying their game as they never touch the ball etc….no reply.. cos they dont want to change the status quo..their egos are too large..and they may lose control??…so sad..cos all i wanted to do was give the kids a chance to play like i did with my mates at Primary School in NZ….we had a lot of fun…we didnt have specialized coaches..yet 3 of us went on to win a gold medal at the Olympic Games…sure this was field hockey…doesnt matter..it is the same principle
    Hopefully through people like you Kyle a few people will awaken! Cheers!

  • kelmendorf says:

    Hi Alan, great to hear from you! Thanks once again for reading and commenting. It is very sad to hear of kids who are bored and no longer having fun. You’re correct in that many times that happens as a result of the adult egos involved. The adults need to step back and realize that it’s not about them, rather that it’s all about the kids and their experience. Keep fighting the good fight and doing the work that you are doing my friend. You ARE making a difference!!

    Stay Well,