Let Go!

By September 7, 2012 5 Comments


Letting go, it seems like such an easy concept but it is difficult for so many people. Why is it so complicated? Why do we need to feel as if we are in control 100% of the time? What are the benefits to letting go? This week I will discuss why letting go is enlightening and what the benefits are.

Have you ever felt the need for control? Or maybe it was just having a fear of the unknown? I am the type of person who likes to set goals. It has always been satisfying to meet or beat the deadlines I have set. Meeting goals has provided a sense of relief, accomplishment, pride, and control. The thought of not being in control was frightening for me. I wanted to feel as if I was always moving forward and not remaining idle. This caused frustration and stress. Who would have thought the solution to my anxiety would be so simple?  The thought of letting go never even crossed my mind because it meant I would not be determining where I was going next, or how I was going to get there.

When talking about Letting Go, I am not referring to going through life aimlessly with no vision. It is not something where you disregard goals and expectations. Rather it is giving everything you have, everything in your power to be the best you’re capable of being and letting your work take you where it may. It is a complete state of mind where you are open to new possibilities but you try not to control how, when, or where they will arise. Let yourself be free!

Ask yourself this question: can I accomplish more by letting go? Reflecting upon myself only two years ago, the answer would have been no. I look back on where I was in the recent past and realize I had the completely wrong outlook. I am confident in saying I was a good teacher and coach then but I know that I am better now. I know this because I have let go. My epiphany was that I realized that there are things beyond my control. I was so resistant to this originally. It was difficult for me to understand, but now I understand that things will work out for the best. I am better than I used to be because I have let go and given my self to fate… wherever my road in life leads me.

What do I mean when I say I have let go? It’s rather simple to explain but difficult to practice.  Personally, it was getting to a state of mind where I realized things have a way of working of themselves out. I began to comprehend that sometimes things will not go the way I have had planned in my mind. And that is ok. It is not the end of the world! Even the bad things always have something good come from them. In fact, a lot of the time our life will end up better for us than we had previously thought.

The event that changed my way of thought occurred almost a year and a half ago. I was at a place in my life where I believed I needed a new challenge professionally. I was restless and felt I had more to offer than what I had the ability to give. Then, an opportunity fell at my feet. It seemed as though things were coming together and this new break would be the perfect fit. I thought this was what was meant to be and finally I was getting what I planned! Unfortunately in a very unique turn of events, my plan and fate were altered. A series of events that I could not change left me back at square one.  I was completely lost.  It was a bombshell at first, but almost immediately my vision began to clear. …let go. I will not say it was easy, and I resisted myself on more than one occasion. However once I accepted that mindset, I felt a huge sense of relief. It is hard to put into words the feeling I am talking about but it was like a giant weight being lifted off of my shoulders. I was liberated. I told myself that things would work out for the best and that no matter what happened, I would make the best of it. The calm feeling I had came from reflection and confidence. Ultimately, the lost opportunity was the best thing that could have happened and I am very grateful for it in retrospect.

Once I got to this point everything began to come into focus. After deep reflection I realized I was already where I was supposed to be. New opportunities and challenges were already awaiting me. In my reflection I went back to my roots. What was I good at? What were my strengths and weaknesses? Where did I see myself in 5, 10, 15 years? Upon reflection I developed a renewed sense of confidence in myself. I thought of the many talents, gifts, and blessings I had. These brought confidence because I realized that I already had many great things in my life. This freed my mind and allowed me to focus my thoughts and energies on things I could really control. I now understood that great things lie ahead and that as long as I gave my best, great things would happen. The most important question I pondered was what provided happiness? I just had to let go for them to come into focus. I didn’t need a change of scenery; I needed a new direction and a positive outlook.

I used to think I could control where I was going to be and what I was going to be doing in my mind. Now my mindset is to have an optimistic outlook, attitude, have tremendous effort, and to be the very best I can be on a daily basis. I now realize with that mindset, I will always be happy and will always have opportunities for growth and expanded success. I don’t know what is going to happen down the road but I no longer fear that, I embrace it.  It’s exciting, not stressful. Having this outlook for the past year and a half has brought me the most happiness in my professional and personal life. Letting go of the control I thought I needed and rolling with the punches was the remedy. It has allowed me to focus on new growth and achievement. Each year I get better and know that success and happiness will find me as long as I give my all.

I challenge you to take this difficult but rewarding journey. It took some very hard times, mistakes made, and deep reflection for me. However, if you do, I am confident you can get the same peace of mind that I have. Do not focus on what the future holds, rather focus on what you can control. You can only control two things: your attitude and effort. If you have a positive attitude and give great effort, you will find success and happiness. Letting go was the best decision I have made. I have never felt better and am confident you will feel the same way too!

I would like to get some feedback from my readers. Please leave a comment on topics and issues you might like to see discussed in future blogs. As always, thanks for reading and have a great week! Be a RGP today!


Join the discussion 5 Comments

  • Andrea says:

    After just graduating college I thought I would get the “perfect” job and be working at a place in my field. I have not found a job in my field but I have job and I am thankful everyday that I am fortunate enough to be working. Reading this has helped me keep in my mind that everything happens for a reason and when the timing is right everything will work out. In reading this I reflected on how I feel at my job and how I could make it better for not only myself but for the other individuals I work with. I enjoyed reading this…good article!

  • Angie says:

    So true…I need to remind my self to let go on a daily basis! LOL

  • kelmendorf says:

    Thanks for the comment, glad you liked it!

  • Brad says:

    Once again, great topic Kyle! This is one of those “easier said than does” situations but very true in each aspect you have in the blog!
    Another great article Kyle, keep up the good work!!

  • kelmendorf says:

    Thanks, I appreciate it!